Shhhhhhhhhh...don't tell Daisy ....... but I am out here in the garden where I have been practicing what I have learned in my Correspondence Course from
Mr. Frass School of Ninja Warriors.

LESSON 1:

I chose this wall to attain the proper "altitude" and then I began the rigorous hours of "meditation". Hour after exausting hour I practiced, never letting it known that I was at all times accutely aware of everything happening below me.

Yes! I saw Daisy sitting on my favorite bench. Just you wait, Daisy.....
your time as Queen around here is limited.

LESSON 2:

For my practice in the art of "self defense", I took swift action on whatever was in my path. I spared nothing...not even Mom's diet coke! Nothing was safe from my lightning paws.

Then...... and the Master (Mr. Frass) would be very proud of this..... I saw to it that Huck Finn (the d*g) was blamed while I retreated in "invisibility" to watch the fun.

LESSON 3:

Practicing the techniques of "insanity" came easy to me as I have been a master at this for many years now. How's this for a scary face! I know it's a mask.....but hey, it works for me.

However, due to my advanced age, I had a bit of trouble with "speed". But I made up for that with these skates and sheer determination.

LESSON 4:

I took this lesson very seriously and for several days kept a notebook of comings and goings, and what not, and after careful consideration I have made a list of who to pick on.... thus mastering the art of "wisely choosing your opponent".

 

Those NOT to tangle with include:

• my boy...... cause he feeds me and he is like the Soup Natzi, if I make one false move he will be like, "no tuna for you!"
• the car...... cause it is huge and purrs louder than me
• mommy's roses...... cause they have prickers

Those I CAN feel confident in picking on:

• the d*g...... he's just a big ole teddy bear
• squirrels and birds in the garden
• worms and other bugs
• anything made of paper or string...... as long as mommy is not attached to the other end of it

Those I WILL pick on even though it will be putting my Ninja skills to the supreme test:

• Daisy
• Daisy
• Daisy...... if I say it enough it will get easier, right?

So, as you can see, I am now ready to show Daisy who is really boss! So come back later and I will tell you how it went.

 

I feel so good that I might try cow tipping next..LOL

 

back to me and Daisy's page

back to ABOUT THE GARDENER
or
if you arrived here from a kitty link you may want to start at the beginning of
LADYBUG'S GARDEN